he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
