My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
