I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
