the new term for farting is butt boxing.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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