so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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