so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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