Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
