You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
