I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
