She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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