My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize