i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
