alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
