Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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