I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
