69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
