If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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