You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he shaved USA in his pubs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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