Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
