i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
