I need to stop coming to work sober
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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