whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Enjoy the penises
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
