considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
