I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
