I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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