It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
