I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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