When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
