I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
