I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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