You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
