I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
