i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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