Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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