No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
