I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
