Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
