When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
In America we eat man semen.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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