kristin has been a bad kristin
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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