College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
