Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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