please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
