OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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