I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
