yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
