feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize