he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my shit smells like andre
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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