I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
