im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
