Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
