I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
